Why do we want to “fix” situations that make us feel uncomfortable?
For instance, when an argument is brewing between two people that we love, we try desperately to de-escalate it in attempting to get them to see the opposite side.
But how often does this really work in de-escalating the situation? Do the two people in question just end up arguing anyway?
During the ordeal, our bodies fill with anxiety and a dreaded anticipation at the thought of an eruption between the ones that we love.
Why do we have this reaction? Why can’t we just let it go when its not our emotional baggage to carry around?
In these situations, the thinking mind swiftly moves to imagining the worst case scenario throwing us in to state of fight or flight resulting in our stress levels heightening immediately. But there is more to it than that. These feelings feel old and seem to have a residue from the past.
Eckhart Tolle calls this accumulation of emotional pain the “pain-body”.
The Pain-Body is akin to an emotional entity in human beings. It stems from an accumulation of emotional pains suffered in the past that weren’t fully faced or were possibly repressed. The pain-body is often connected with pain suffered in the past because of the unconsciousness of the people around you—your parents, family members, spouse, partner, co-workers, etc.
Eckhart Tolle
For the next conflict that arises, focus on the feelings in you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think. Don’t judge. Just observe. Become aware and the role of “the fixer” will no longer be desired.
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