Be Kind

Be kind.
Be kind to yourself.
Be kind to others.

Set your intention to be kind every day and it starts with being kind to yourself. You’re most important relationship is the one with yourself. If that is a healthy relationship, you will live a happy and fulfilled life.

Kindness opens up infinite possibilities. You will recieve kindness when you give kindness. Relationships with family, friends and everyone you meet will take on a new dynamic. Opportunties will arise. Coincidences will become more common.

But before we can be kind to ourselves be fully aware that the inner voice (the egoic mind) is your harshest critic. “You should have done this. Why did you say that you fool. You’ve made things worse. I’m useless at this. Wish I didn’t have to do it. I always mess this up. They are going to think I’m terrible. Aggghh!” Then comes the feeling of a knot in the stomach, the heart starts beating faster, and that is followed by acute anxiety, stress and overwhelment. (Note that these generated emotions are simply the body’s reaction to the continious danger messages sent by the egoic mind.)

Look who’s talking now

So who exactly is doing the talking and who are they talking to? i.e. who is the “I” that is telling “me” that I am foolish, useless and terrible?

Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth” helped me understand what’s happening. He wrote:

“When you think or speak about yourself, when you say, “I,” what you usually refer to is “me and my story.” This is the “I” of your likes and dislikes, fears and desires, the “I” that is never satisfied for long. It is a mind-made sense of who you are, conditioned by the past and seeking to find fulfilment in the future.

Can you see that this “I” is fleeting, a temporary formation, like a wave pattern on the surface of water? Who is it that sees this? Who is it that is aware of the fleetingness of your physical and psychological form? I Am. This is the deeper “I” that has nothing to do with past and future….”

Therefore, when each thought gets your full complete attention, it means you are identifying with that thought. This then becomes your false sense of self i.e. a mind-made “me” created by the ego. And it’s a complete illusion.

And when the voice in the head goes rabbiting on about a situation like “I shouldn’t of done that now. That was stupid of me.” Based on what we said, who is who in this situation?

‘I’ = ego (the thinker)
‘me’ = false sense of self (mind-made by the ego)

Then who is the true self? The ‘true self’ is the one who is aware of the thinker.

It is only through awareness of our egoic mind that we can be kind to ourselves and others and it takes recognising there is a voice in your head, to realise “that who you are is not the voice – the thinker – but the one who is aware of it.”

Be aware that the ego (the thinker) is sneaky. It grapples for attention. It loves negativity and just when you feel you have closed the front door on it, the ego (the thinker) sneaks in the back door.

But thats okay. Don’t fight the ego. Just be aware of it. Observe your thoughts. Don’t identify with them. See them as they arise. Then consciously be kind. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.