The Inner Child

Focusing on the inner child, is powerful way to connect with your true self. The inner child is just a way of describing the subconscious mind. Little do we realise that it is the inner child running our lives on a daily basis but we often choose to forget about him/her. Studies show that the first 7 years of your life as a child substantially shapes your personality and is the source of much of our anxieties, fears, and beliefs which we carry through all the way to adulthood.

The inner child is essentially trying to protect. Based on some experience we had as child where we felt embarrased or some sort of shame, our inner child starts screaming and shouting doing its best to stop us from taking an action. This resistance comes in the form of the inner voice saying:

“I will be found out”
“I’m not good enough”
“I would only let them down”
“I will be made fun of”

The Four Agreements by bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills through the following story wonderfully portrays how the power of our words and internal dialogue can’t be underestimated.

“There was a woman who was intelligent, caring and kind. She got home from work after a huge day, was sick, tired and had a thumping headache. Her little daughter, only four or five years old, was excited to see her mum and started jumping and dancing around the house, laughing and singing joyfully. The mother was patient, letting her rid herself of her energy, but the daughter didn’t stop. She was constantly singing and yelling and eventually the woman snapped. She yelled at her daughter to shut up and be quiet, even going as far as telling her that her voice was painful to hear. The daughter was crushed, at such a young aged she clinged to her mothers every word. From that day she made an agreement with herself that her voice was painful, she never wanted to sing or even speak. She was shy at school and didn’t want to be too loud. She had decided, based on what her mother said, that she needed to repress her voice in order to be loved.”

Exploring our relationship with the inner child can unlock our potential. It is one of the keys to growth and fulfillment.